We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
