can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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