ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
tell me about the eggs
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
