I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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