How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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