i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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