He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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