So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
