Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call

(906): View more from Michigan

Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008

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(425): View more from Washington

Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began

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(731): View more from Tennessee

She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.

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(819): View more from Quebec

What the fuck were you guys talking about?

(1-819): View more from Quebec

Lube wrestling.

(819): View more from Quebec

Oh, makes sense.

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