Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck