Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people

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(760): View more from California

Do you need to be saved?

(847): View more from Illinois

No I think I'm God

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(212): View more from New York

Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.

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(646): View more from New York

I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.

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(956): View more from Texas

Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....

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(678): View more from Georgia

Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.

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(904): View more from Florida

So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore

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