Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen