Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
