he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
