I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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