he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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