So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
