my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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