I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
