you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
