dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
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so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize