Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
