I cannot find my penis.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
