whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
