Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
