i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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