I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
