As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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