Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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