Me. At least after what I've been through.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
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Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
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He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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