I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
