you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
