after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize