First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
