he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's blow job season.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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