the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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