I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
