She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
