it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
sex in a hospital.. check
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize