ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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