dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
