Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
