Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
