just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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