Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
