Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
that's an acceptable place to lick
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
