Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
