i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
