sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
