The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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