I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
