omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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