True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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