I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
