Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so let's talk penis.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
