And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Damn victory sex feels great
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
