did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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