He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
