she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
