last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize