This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
