I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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