i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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