if only i could text you this smell
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
