It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
