Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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