I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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