I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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