Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
