Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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