I want to make a zoo with you.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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