Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
