my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
